Jack's Big Day
by sueKay-04
Summary: The title tells all! Please R&R! Set in Season Eight. Some SJ shippyness
1. The Wake Up Call

Hey there!

I originally started this story 3 years ago to celebrate Jack O'Neill's birthday...but never got anywhere near finishing it.

So I've reworked it, and I'm going to start doing some new chapters!

Enjoy!

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**Jack's Big Day**

Jack sat on the end of his bed. His hair was awry, sticking up all over the place. Still in his Air Force T Shirt and bottoms, he rolled up one leg to admire the scars on his left knee. He let his limb be and got up, heading to his coat hooks where his blues were hanging.

_What's the date? _He thought as he reached for his phone.

The display read 20/10/04.

"Crap!" He whined, "It's today."

Jack now stood in his laundry room, desperately trying to remove the creases from his pants. He started duty in just over an hour, and he lived an hour away, not that he was in a hurry to get there!

October 20th was always a trying day for Jack.

It was his birthday.

At least it wouldn't be as bad as two years previous, when he 'officially' became an 'antique'.

Every year, he had to endure jibes from his friends and colleagues. Daniel would tease him relentlessly, calling his denser comments his 'senior moments'. Teal'c of course being into his eleventh decade would inform Jack that he was 'getting to be a big boy now'. The catering staff asked him if he needed a straw with his soup, and Siler and Walter - being Siler and Walter - asked him:

"How does it feel to be old sir?"

For a moment, he considered leaving the iron down on his pants, so that he could phone and say he'd accidentally destroyed his uniform.

No.

Daniel would call that a senior moment.

Giving up on his ironing, Jack stripped off to his briefs and picked up the crushed relics that were his pants.

DING DONG

"Oh for crying out loud…" He growled, looking at his watch.

06:30 - Postman.

Jack always had to open the door for the postman to sign for his mail.

_What package is it this time?_

Beyond caring, Jack went to the door in his briefs.

"Hello." He yawned, screwing his eyes up at the early Colorado sun. He never looked at who was standing there.

"H-Hello sir."

_Sir? What the?_

As he looked up, his face took on that of a deer caught in headlights.

"Carter!"

Jack jumped back, trying to conceal his near-nudity. He bashed into his door-side table, and that lovely carved stone vase his sister Siobhan had got him for Christmas landed on his foot…


	2. Of Sticks Stones and Plants

**Chapter 2**

"Aah! Shit!" He shrieked as the heavy object landed on his big toe.

Dignity forgotten, he began madly hopping around, grasping at his foot.

At least things couldn't get any worse.

It was at that moment that he lost his balance and landed on the laminate - on his bad knee. The pain radiated up and began doing the Highland fling on his kneecap.

"Aah! Bastard!" He screamed.

He looked up at Sam, still on the doorstep, eyes shut, hand over her mouth, nearly asphyxiating through trying to stop giggling. She let out a little snort.

"Sorry Sir." She choked back the laughter in her throat.

It was only then she realised he was hurt.

Jack was lying on his front, in his briefs, with his 21C getting a great view of his ass.

"Sir! Are you okay?"

He felt her hands on his biceps, as she gently turned him onto his back.

"Just peachy Carter, but I think the cartilage has moved."

Jack now lay on his back, and Sam reached down to the disfigured joint.

"DON'T SPLINT I-AHT!!" He yelped as the cartilage slipped back into place. The pain receded, and Sam gently massaged the area.

"I should fall on my ass more often!" he joked.

"Why did you come to the door...ehm...out of uniform?"

"I thought you were the postman."

Sam shot her CO a worried look.

"I don't think another man would care if I was...sans uniform." He elaborated.

"Speaking of your uniform?"

"Laundry room."

"Right."

Sam helped Jack to his feet, and he noticed her looking him up and down.

_Still got it! _He smiled inwardly.

Sam got him to the living room, before she left to get his uniform. A moment later, she reappeared.

"Need help?"

"I think I can dress myself Carter." He smiled.

"I'll stay anyway!" Sam said, "Ehm...to make sure you're okay of course!"

Five minutes later, Jack was dressed - albeit in a crushed uniform. He hobbled to the kitchen, picking up his keys, his phone - and a cigarette.

"Sir?"

"Yeah?"

"I didn't know you were a smoker."

"It's a test of willpower."

Sam gave him a slight glare. She was confused.

"I quit smoking nine years ago. I always have a cigarette with me as a test to make sure if I'm offered, I say no."

"Right sir."

Jack sat down heavily.

"Carter?"

"Sir?"

"Why are you here?"

Sam fidgeted in her seat, playing with her hands.

_This is it! She's dumped him for me! On my birthday! Hallelujah!_ Said one voice.

_Don't be stupid Jack! She's gonna say that Jacob can't make it and wants you to give her away...or she's moving away to be with Spud Buy! _Said another.

Jack pushed away the negativity of one of his inner voices.

"I'm waiting."

"You know that plant."

"Plant?"

"The one that overrun the base a couple of months ago."

"Ah...that plant."

Jack looked at her. "Uh oh. What's happened?"

"Ehm...The plant's overrun the whole mountain sir."


	3. Driving me mad

**Chapter 3**

Ten minutes later, Jack and Sam were driving through Colorado Springs in Jack's SUV.

"Carter...Why can't I drive?"

"You've hurt your knee."

Jack wore a look of puzzlement.

"If your cartilage has moved, it might do so again...If it does...I don't think you'd be concentrating on driving."

"Ah!"

"I don't think we want to crash. Do we sir?"

"Nope."

"Sam indicated, and the car swiftly turned onto the interstate.

"Where are we going?"

"The Air Force Academy for the time being."

"Oh…right."

Jack suddenly remembered that he had put his Game Boy in the glove compartment. He reached over and grabbed it.

_Pokemon here I come!_

He started the game and entered his code - last level.

He briefly looked up at his 2IC. It was obvious she was in deep thought, from the far-off look in her face.

_God she's beautiful._

Deciding to concentrate on his game, he looked away, but something was wrong. The vehicles in front were slowing down.

Sam wasn't.

"CARTER!"

Jack's lovely black SUV ran straight into the back of a muck-spreader.

"Aw crap!"

Crap indeed.


	4. Manure Suprise

**Chapter 4**

An hour later, a tow truck and a rather mangled, manure-covered SUV parked outside the Air Force Academy. San and Jack got out, and Jack handed the tow driver a twenty.

"Thanks son. Just leave her in the carpark."

The driver took the money and drove away.

Jack's knee was still sore, so he held onto Sam shoulder as he hobbled forward.

"Sir...I am so sorry."

"It's okay."

"I'm gonna pay for the damage."

"I'm insured."

"I'll pay the insurance!"

"Carter...It's okay."

"At least take on of my Volvos!"

"No! I mean...I'll get a courtesy car."

"What's wrong with Volvos?"

"Nothing."

The pair edged slowly up the steps at the front entrance of the Academy. They both smelled like something from a farm, and a passing cadet drew them a look, before he recognised that Jack was a General. Jack glared at the teenager, who promptly scurried off.

"Where are all the NORAD people?"

"They've been told they have to on leave while the Air Force carries out a training operation."

"Ah! Where are our people."

"In the main lecture hall."

"I see. Security?"

"In place sir. Why?"

"You know what those damned cadets can be like. Too young and naïve to understand the term 'classified'."

"Sir?"

"Personal experience."

"Right…"

As Sam and Jack walked - hobbled - through the corridors, Jack noticed how quiet it was.

"Where are all the cadets?"

"They're mostly out on flight training."

"That brings back memories!"

"I know sir." Sam giggled. "It just seems like yesterday."

The walked for another few moments, earning some memorable looks from several Cadets, and bemused and 'too-knowing' grins from airmen and officers.

"Here we are sir."

Sam opened the door to the lecture hall for Jack. The room was very quiet, with no lights on. Jack couldn't see anyone.

"Carter? Where is everyone?"

Sam grinned, and then he heard something…

"SURPRISE!!"

"Oh for crying out loud."


	5. Shipping for Fern

**Chapter 5 - Shipping For Fern**

Jack was sitting in a dark corner of the lecture hall, glaring at passers by.

They'd thrown him a surprise party. Everyone from the SGC was there, all in fancy suits and Dress Uniforms - except birthday boy Jack.

He was wearing blues. Blues that smelled like the back end of a cow.

Joy.

"Hello sir. Enjoying the party?" Walter Harriman asked as he walked by.

"Yeah! Great party!"

Walter smiled and walked off.

"Git." Jack muttered under his breath.

"Did you say something sir?" Walter remarked.

"I just said I'm having a _great_ time."

Ten minutes later, Jack had grown weary of sulking in the corner. It was time to annoy Daniel.

"Hey Danny!"

"Hi Jack! Happy birthday!"

"Why thank you!"

"Here." Daniel handed Jack a parcel.

Daniel forgot everyone's birthday, so Jack was truly surprised and happy that his best friend had remembered.

He carefully peeled back the paper to find a t-shirt. It was a cartoon of Jack sitting on a fishing boat casting a fishing line. He didn't understand the slogan.

"Gone Shipping?" He remarked.

"It's a private joke. We'll tell you sometime."

"We?"

"Me...and a few associates!" Daniel smiled and ran off to catch Teal'c.

"Having a good time sir?" he heard Sam's voice.

"Yeah Sam."

Jack turned round to see Sam wearing faded jeans and a baby blue v-necked top.

"Carter?"

Sam shuffled her feet. "Ehm...I know you prefer casual get-togethers, so I decided not to wear my dress blues."

"Right."

"Hey guys!" The pair heard a call.

"Cassie!"

The young woman came running into view.

"Happy birthday Jack!" She said, enveloping him in a hug. "I've got you a present!"

Cassie handed Jack a present - obviously a book.

Jack opened it, and looked at the front page.

"I'll be back in a minute!" Sam said.

Jack looked briefly up, and saw Jacob Carter. He looked back at Cassie.

"The shy guy's guide to dating?"

"Well..._you're _not going to do anything about her are you?"

Jack smiled at the teen's audacity. "There's the small matter of reg's."

"If I was in the military, it'd never hold me back!" With a sly smile, Cassie went to greet Jacob.

Sighing and groaning, Jack quickly covered up his t shirt and his book, and began striding purposefully to the big bowl of punch in the centre of the buffet table.

"Gener...Gewnil...Jack." Said a slurred voice.

Jack looked to the corner of the room, so see Teal'c propped up against a pot plant.

"T! What's up?"

"I believe I am intoxi...intiximo...drunk."

"I can see that. But you don't get drunk do you?"

"I think it is due to my tretonin. Fern agrees."

"Fern?"

Teal'c grinned, before slapping the large Chinese money plant sat beside him.

"I see."

Jack turned to walk away from the punch happy Jaffa.

"She has many words of wisdom O'Neill."

"I'm sure she does!"

Jack groaned. He put his hand into his pocket to get his phone. His fingers landed on the cigarette in his pocket. He twiddled it between his fingers…

_C'mon! One won't hurt! _A voice said.

_Yes it will._ Said another.

Jack decided to continue his internal argument outside. He headed to the entrance, but stopped when he saw Sam and Cassie heading out.

_Hello?_

Five minutes passed, and Jack was listening in on the conversation. (He needed some amusement.)

So far they'd went through men, hair, clothes, cars, make up, money and various other things (including many expletives when talking about Dominic). Now they were talking about something of interest.

"Please tell me you're making this up Sam!"

"Nope."

"You crashed the black hotness that is Jack's car?"

Jack smiled at that comment.

"Yes."

"Oh my...Sam! What are you gonna do?"

"I'll make it up to him!"

"So how did you crash it."

"My mind went on a wander."

"Uh huh?"

"Well..." Sam trailed off.

"Sam?"

"What do you think of Jack...the general?"

"In what way?"

"Do you think he's attractive?"

There was a pause. Jack's mind was racing.

"If he wasn't my sort of adoptive father, I'd think so."

"Right...That's good!"

"Sam. I'm not blind. I know you think he's damn hot!"

Jack paused, waiting to see whether or not she'd argue the point.

"Right well...When I arrived at his house this morning."

_Oh dear God! Don't tell her what happened!_

"Go on?"

"He came to the door in his underpants."

"On purpose?"

"No."

"That's...some sort of relief I guess."

_Why thank you Cassie_

"When I was driving, I couldn't get him out of my mind! He has to be the hottest goddamn sexiest man I have ever seen!"

Jack peeked around the corner, to see Cassie throwing Sam a funny look.

"Ehm...I meant for his age!"

"So let me get this straight. You go to your CO's house. You drive his car here. You crash his car because you can't stop thinking about how hot he is?"

"Basically yeah."

"Why didn't Jack drive?"

"Because he fell on his ass in front of me."

"That explains everything!"

Jack was grinning from ear to ear, until he felt a finger prod him on the shoulder.

"Birthday boy! I wish to introduce you to Fern!"

Jack turned around to see Teal'c and his pot plant.

"Sir! What are you doing out here?" Sam looked very worried.

_Crap!_


	6. The worst day of your life

**Chapter 6 - This is '(the worst day of) your life!**

Jack was walking through the grounds of the Air Force academy.

He'd managed to elope from his encounter with Sam, Teal'c Cassie and...Fern.

Jack had admitted to eavesdropping, but managed to save Sam the embarrassment of telling her what he'd heard, when Teal'c had fallen over 'Fern' and had started singing 'the Lullaby of Broadway'. After he and a few Airmen had dragged Teal'c back into the lecture hall, Jack had well, run away.

Now, He was prowling the grounds of the Academy, snarling at the freshman and glaring at everyone else. He got a snigger from a visiting group of school students, who seemed intent on making as many comments as possible, on the stench of animal excrement that was following Jack around.

He found a bench and promptly sat down, before he took the cigarette out of his pocket and began examining it intently.

"Oh what the hell!" he said, placing the cigarette in his mouth and reaching back into his pocket to find a lighter...

"General O'Neill!" said a booming voice.

Jack turned round, cigarette in mouth, to see General Vidrine standing over him.

"Hello sir?"

"Hat?"

"Huh?"

"You have to wear a hat while you are outside on the Academy grounds. I thought being a General, you'd be wanting to set an example!"

"Sorry sir."

"I should think so!"

Jack felt like a naughty schoolboy, as Vidrine near enough dragged him back to Lecture hall. If he had been a schoolboy, he would have been kicking and screaming.

Damn arthritis.

"Jack?" said Daniel, coming over to his friend's aid.

"Daniel!"

"Dr Jackson?"

"I'm glad to see that Jack's enjoying his _surprise_ party."

Vidrine looked at the rather smelly General, and put two and two together.

"I'd better get back to my office General. I will overlook this infraction."

"Thank you sir." Said Jack glumly.

Vidrine walked briskly out of the crowded lecture room.

"Infraction?" Daniel queried.

"Hat."

"Huh?"

"You've gotta wear a hat outside."

"That's even dumber that the frat rules!" Daniel shouted.

On hearing the sudden hush in the room, Jack said "Its still a rule that should be followed!"

"Sure Jack." Daniel whispered.

The pair heard a round of clapping, and they looked up to see Sergeant Siler taking the stage.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Your attention please!"

All the officers in the room walked forwards to listen to the clumsy clutz of a Sergeant's speech. He was wearing a plaster cast around his ankle after his latest wrench accident.

"As you know, this is General Jonathan James 'Jack' O'Neill's fifty-second birthday!"

As the room erupted into whoops and cheers, Jack cringed at the use of his full name.

"We organised this party not only to celebrate the day of his birth, but also to celebrate his first six months of base commander!"

Three was a round of applause. Jack felt like dying as he felt his face grow red.

"Now we have something that I'm not too sure the General will enjoy, but I'm sure everyone else will."

_Ground, swallow me up please!_

"After much research on the part of Sergeant Harriman and myself, we present - 'Jack O'Neill - This is your life'!"

_Nooooooooooooooo_


	7. The Wonder Years

**Chapter 7 - Jack O'Neill - the wonder years **

"Jack was born in Chicago on the 20th of October, 1952 to John and Iona O'Neill. He was one of a set of triplets - James, Robert and Jonathan. In 1956, they were joined by their sister Siobhan."

_Uh-oh…They better not have talked to any of my relatives or I will die!_

"After the family moved to Clearwater, Minnesota in 1958, Jack and his brothers were enrolled at Lakeland elementary. Jack proved himself to be an extraordinary boy, being skipped ahead two grades, while his brothers were skipped up one. Jack then moved to Oakfield Junior high then Oakfield senior. He graduated with extremely high SATs and credits in Maths, Physics, Music, Spanish and English."

_That's right…let Danny boy know that I have some non-english language skills._

Jack caught a glimpse of Daniel staring quizzically at him.

_Crap_

"But Jack managed to get into a bit of trouble after leaving school, and after some…incidents, he decided to enroll for basic Marine training. Once in training, he caught the eye of a visiting Air Force General, Mark Hendry, and gained a place here, at the Academy. Jack then took several subjects, once again excelling in many fields, including Languages, Military sciences, Engineering and tactical logistics."

_I was happy being General Dumbass you nit! Walter you are gonna regret this!_

"After five years here, Jack graduated with a joint honours degree in Military Sciences and Engineering, at the rank of Lieutenant, but did not go immediately into service. Instead, he enrolled at…"

_No!_

"Chicago State University to study English literature and Music."

There were a round of gasps from the assembled crowd, and Jack felt dozens of pairs of eyes rest on him.

"What?" He said in mock anger, concealing his mortification.

The group turned away from him, focussing on Walter once more.

"But he found that English literature wasn't to his liking, so switched faculties to Nuclear and Particle physics in his second year, eventually graduating with an honours degree in the subject and a year later, his masters in Music."

_I want to die._

"Jack then returned to the military to fulfil his contract of five years service. It was after a few missions, he was recruited into black ops. But his academic career didn't end there. By this point, his brother James had become an astronomer and his sister Siobhan was working for NASA as a technician and part time radiologist. Robert had become a psychiatrist. His father had also remarried and he now had another three siblings - Angus, Alexa and Kaitlin."

_If you start talking about my step mom you're gonna die Walter._

"Jack began working on a project with Siobhan and James all the while working for special ops. It was while working on this project, that he met his future wife, Sara McClaren. It took eight years for them to get together, finally marrying in 1985. Their son Charlie was born in 1987. The project they had been working on came to fruition and recognition in the early nineties. This was SETI, the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence. But neither would have any more involvement with the project. Sara left work to care for Charlie, and Jack, who by this point was a Major, scaled back his Black Ops input, letting many missions pass him by."

_Phew! No mention of the evil step mother and no Black Ops details._

"Tragically, in 1995, his son Charlie died in an accident at their family home. His marriage to Sara ended shortly thereafter, but the two remain friends to this day."

Jack felt self conscious as he felt the crowd's gaze on him again. He was sure that Sam and Daniel's stares were going to burn holes in his uniform. They were worried for him, and he genuinely appreciated the concern, though it was now unwarranted.

"It was roundabout this time that Jack became involved with the Stargate project, leading the first mission to Abydos, along with the late Major Charlie Kawalsky, Major Lou Ferretti and Dr Daniel Jackson. On this mission, they were successful in eliminating Ra and freeing the people of Abydos. A year later, SG1 were formed, and after seven years as CO of the team, he gained promotion to Base Commander of the SGC."

_Hallelujah! I survived this with minimal embarrassment!_

"Now that we've finished the Jack O'Neill 101…"

_What? Huh!_

"…It's time for the really embarrassing stuff.

_Crap._


End file.
